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Reader, when someone comes to me with a problem they’re struggling with, the first thing I do isn’t to analyze it, but to ask them to drop down into how they feel about it - right now, in this moment. Just one or two words. Whatever's most true. Then I ask them to close their eyes, sit with that feeling, and ask it: how old are you? Whatever number comes first - before the brain has a chance to edit it - that's the one. Sometimes it's 5. Sometimes it's 3. Sometimes it's 8 or 12. That number...
Hey Reader, Yesterday, someone asked me what's different now, on the other side of everything I've been through. The first word that came to mind was peace. Just...peace. Not that life doesn't still offer up hard things, but they don't shake me like they did for a long time. I feel different in my body now - like I'm finally living in my own skin. I didn't realize how much I lived on high-alert - until I didn't. I've lived alone now for the last 6 years (first time in my life!) and I...
"You're out of runway. Turn around." That's what I heard. I was in the middle of another panic attack - breathing through it, waiting for my nervous system to get the memo that the danger was over. Except the danger had been over for two years. That's how long I'd been out of the marriage - out of the chaos and manipulation and crazy making. Beyond the emotional trauma I worked so hard to heal. But there I was. 2am. Heart pounding. Completely stuck. And clueless why this was happening again....