SMILE! Or don't


This photo popped up in my facebook memories yesterday. I think my irreverent pose + defiant caption speak volumes. 😊

I can so remember my mom telling me to smile when I was a kid, as if NOT smiling was unacceptable. Translated, that meant if I wasn't or didn't appear happy, I was unacceptable.

This is one place codependency and people pleasing take root: the external validation of our internal state - not just our feelings and emotions, but our value and worth. It's gnarly and it stays with us - until we get our belly full and decide to do something about it.

Not knowing WHAT to do about it is usually where people get stuck. You can Google or ChatGPT it, but you'll get generic guidance that keeps you in your head, ruminating and thinking about the problem (usually OTHER people's problems) rather than getting down into the root of what you believe about yourself.

Not your conscious beliefs - the deeper, SUB-conscious beliefs we carry that trip us up and keep us negotiating our value and self-worth for love, acceptance, and belonging.

Yep. We all have them. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just trying to fit into someone else's expectations that were never true for you - like freakin' smiling all the time even when you're not happy. Or you're deep in thought. Or you're just being YOU. That's just one small way we leave ourselves and there are so many more!

Here's the thing: you can't think your way out of a belief you don't even know you're carrying.

That's where your Return to Selfâ„¢ begins - at the root. Not reliving trauma or pain, but reclaiming the parts you left and coming all the way back to who you really are - resting bitchface and all!

That's the beauty of Soul Integration and what Return to Selfâ„¢ is all about - the freedom to be the real, true, unapologetic YOU.

Let's go get her. → Return to Self™​

With love, Kate 💗

P.S. If you've already experienced Return To Selfâ„¢, I'd love an update! How is life different today?

Kate A. Bares | Soul Integration Methodâ„¢

Inside is the way out. ~Kate

Come all the way home to YOU → Return to Self™

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Kate A. Bares

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