It's Not YOU - It's HER!


Hey Reader! Welcome to Soul Notes for July!

I shared this post recently, and from the response it got, I knew it needed a deeper dive, so here goes:

What if I told you that when you’re scared, anxious, angry, or discouraged, it's not actually you feeling those emotions - it’s your child Self?

Would you move through those feelings differently if you knew that?

I know I did. I used to be incredibly hard on myself - but this one AHA moment shifted everything.

Try it for yourself:
Next time big emotions rise up, pause and imagine it’s your child Self you’re talking to.

Now ask yourself:

  • Are you judging her? (“You’re being too sensitive.”)
  • Dismissing her? (“You’re overreacting.”)
  • Shaming her? (“This is your fault.”)
  • Ignoring her? (“I don’t have time for this.”)

Does that land differently?

Because here’s the truth:
When you’re triggered, your child Self is the one who’s hurting - not you. (I know, I know - it damn sure doesn’t feel that way, but stay with me.)

While the trigger happens in the present, the emotion is coming from her time - the past - where that original wound still lives.
Your brain thinks it’s happening now, but what you’re actually experiencing is a reactivation of something much older and deeper.

And in that moment, what she needs isn’t your frustration or avoidance.
She needs your love.
Your validation.
Your presence.

She needs to be seen, heard, and cherished.
She needs an adult to co-regulate with her until the panic, fear, or anger softens.

And that adult is YOU.

Yes, YOU.

When you learn how to stay in your adult Self and turn your attention toward your child Self, you don’t just re-ground -
you activate real healing.

I call it Turning Toward the Trauma.

It might sound a little “woo-woo,” but it’s honestly the most natural, intuitive practice I’ve ever done. And it works!

  • It stops anxiety and panic in their tracks.
  • It connects you with the part of you that’s actually in pain, without spiraling into the pain itself.
  • It gets right to the root - helping you heal abandonment, betrayal, and attachment wounds you might not even realize are still running the show.

Your child Self is the one who’s reeling.
YOU are the one who gets to witness, soothe, and lead.

If it feels like I’m talking to you (and let’s be real - you already know if I am 😊) - I can help.

You CAN heal.
You CAN live without anxiety and self-doubt.
You CAN stop people-pleasing and start living true to YOU - without guilt or shame.

I’ll walk you through the exact steps I used to finally identify and heal the wounded parts that kept toxic, codependent cycles on autopilot for most of my life.

It was the game-changer that set me free. And I want that for you, too.

Click the Activation link below to get the steps.
I got you. ❤️

So much love,

P.S. If you've already experienced this level of Soul Integration work with me, please feel free to share this with someone you love!

Kate A. Bares Soul Integration Guide | Codependency Coach

Helping You Reclaim Self-Worth + Emotional Freedom!

"You're not broken. You're coming home to yourSelf." ~ Kate

Book a free Activation Session today!

Kate A. Bares

Subscribe here if you're ready to stop negotiating your value and Self-worth and get back to the business of living True to Who You ARE!

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