Reader, are you a people pleaser? I never thought I was. Of all the codependent traits, I fell more into the controller category and that definitely didn't please many people in my life, so I didn't think it fit. 🤷♀️ Boy was I wrong! I had no idea how much I sold myself out for love, acceptance, approval, connection - anything but abandonment - until I woke up and didn't recognize myself. I had abandoned ME so much for so long in so many ways, I wasn't sure who I even was anymore. It's those...
about 19 hours ago • 1 min read
Hey, have I told you this story? A dear client referred a friend years ago who had severe anxiety and panic about flying. She'd always had it - flew once or twice - but it was so bad she just stopped. But now it mattered. She'd been offered the job of her dreams and she would have to travel worldwide. There were no good options - heavily medicate every time she flew, white-knuckel it and take her chances, or turn the down the job. That's when she came to me, determined and willing to try...
5 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, when was the first time you knew your life was your own? Someone asked me that once and my first answer was I ALWAYS knew my life was my own, because a part of me absolutely did. That very independent, very determined "I do it myself" little one who knew what she wanted and had no problem stomping her foot for it. Oh, believe me - she's still in there, but the more I thought about the question, the more I realized I stopped trusting that confident, knowing little spit-fire part of...
7 days ago • 2 min read
I gotta be honest Reader, unsubscribes still break my heart a little. 😪 I have a tiny little email community and even those I've never met in person feel like friends, so when one of you goes away, I feel it. But I feel everything, so there's that. 🤷♀️ In marketing, it's called "self selecting" and apparently, it's a good thing, but the people pleaser in me wants to make everybody happy. Yeah, she's still in there - wanting to do eveything right so people don't leave her. But it happens. And...
9 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, I just completed my signature 60-Day Return to Self™ program with an amazing client I'll call Anna. Smart, kind woman, who came with a bit of a chip on her shoulder like someone carrying defense wounds. Definitely kept parts of herself protected, like she wanted to jump all in, but didn't want to get her hair wet. She would tell me all the things she already knew about herself, her process, her relationships, like she needed me to know she had it covered. And she DID actually -...
11 days ago • 1 min read
Reader, if you've followed me for a while, you've probably heard my story about my "What the F*** Am I DOING? moment - when the question flipped from "Why does he do that?" to "Why am I putting up with it?!" I'll never forget it. That moment changed the trajectory of my life, Thank God. His betrayal had triggered something so deep in me I couldn't even name it, but it held me hostage in that relationship for the next 5 years, constantly reaching outside myself to try to reconcile something...
15 days ago • 1 min read
Hey! I just got back from a trip to my Dad's and I have to tell you this story... So my friend sells Volvos and last week he got a Subaru on a trade-in he thought I might like. You know - practical, safe, hippie-old-lady vibe.✌️So of course I went to drive it. And of course, sitting right next to it was an XC40 Volvo that I absolutely fell in love with. Obviously, I drove that too. 🤦♀️ Now everywhere I go, all I see is XC40s. The whole drive there and back, I swear every other car was THAT...
17 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, I'm following up on my last email, because it's real life and the more I thought about it, the more I had to say. 😊 I was a single mom AND a solo business owner for most of my adult life (and still am 🎉). It wasn't always easy financially, but I can honestly say I have never NOT done something I really wanted to do. Not because the money was sitting in the bank, but because if I wanted it bad enough I figured out a way to get it. And I've found that to be true for most humans -...
19 days ago • 2 min read
Hey, here's my thoughts for Thursday: My daughter and son-in-law just bought a big, beautiful new home and their 2-year old had a really hard time for a couple of weeks. She just couldn't get settled and kept saying she wanted to go home. She has a lovely new room, a big playroom with all her toys, and tons of space to run and play, but she just wanted the familiar safety of the only home she'd ever known. I totally get that. When I was 15, my dad built a big, beautiful new house for US. Five...
21 days ago • 2 min read